Those years
by starkcontrastblue
Summary: A prequel of sorts to my story, Avengers...SPOILERS FOR ENDGAME.


Disclaimer: _Avengers_ aren't mine; I just play with them. They belong to Marvel/Disney.

Five years

Tony hated hospitals. Period. He hated being weak and unable to fight back. He hated losing. Steve's face had said more than words ever could as he sat dejected by Tony's bedside. So that was it he won they lost. Tony didn't have the strength to feel the anger he had before a wave a guilt poured over him. Why hadn't they sorted out their differences? sat down and talked it through. If Steve had sat Tony down and told him however hard that would have been Tony at least would have had time to process it. He did afterwards with a bottle of Bourbon his first slip up in years. Tony was sure he wouldn't have made through without Pepper who returned to find him beaten up and in disarray. His thoughts drifted to Peter the kid that reassured him that there were still good people in the world. Tony realised he was shaking as he folded his arms across his chest." Tony?" Steve said gently touching his shoulder as Tony closed his eyes "Im tired Cap, really tired "

…

The screen flashed and Tony cursed under his breath, the world was already a mess and continued to break down every day. He twisted the silver band on his finger as he stared at the screens sending the Stark foundation relief team to the various locations. Natasha hovered behind him occasionally flicking the screens over "Rhodey is on route he will shut them down" she stated, simply. Tony stood and stretched rolling his shoulders it was good a time as any." Natasha, I want you to take the lead here, the Avengers and our other allies" Natasha sat on the corner of the desk." Are you sure Tony?" Tony considered the woman before him spy then team mate and finally friend. Steve had drifted away from the Avengers as had Thor; Natasha was a fine leader in her own right she would be alright. She didn't t want to give up. "Yes, I am retiring in the next few weeks, I will help when I am needed and you with have all of the resources of Stark Industries behind you" Tony stood and placed both hands on her shoulders "I trust you". Natasha gave a small smile as she patted his arm "we will miss you around here" Tony gave her a rare smile "I need to go home"

….

Morgan was perfection Tony marvelled at just watching her grow. It was better than anything he had created before. His fathers' words held on film came to him daily as a mantra. Morgan truly was Tony's greatest creation. In the last two years the world continued to adapt, governments folding in on themselves, boarders closed, travel restricted. Tony flicked around on the screen as Morgan sat happily with her blocks on the floor. So domestic Tony thought, how had that happened. Pepper had gone into the office, still CEO she refused to let their employees struggle alone. So, Tony became a stay at home dad and he didn't mind. He flicked over and read the daily report Natasha sent him he shut it off after a couple of lines. Post-Apocalyptic, that what they were living in that was their world though no one ever said that. Steve had set up groups which Tony admired him for, he always wanted to help, he was solider who had lost perhaps, his biggest battle. Tony took the bear that Morgan offered as she sat beside her watching as placed one block on top of each other. Only a couple years older than Morgan Tony had been building engines then robots and finally weapons more advanced than anything the world had seen. Nothing helped in the end and Tony dreaded the day he would have to tell Morgan he was a part of that failure.

….

Th screen faded and Tony leant back rubbing his eyes. He had spent the last few months trying to track down Clint, with little success. Natasha had asked for his help which he rarely did these days after all her efforts had failed. But Tony deep in his heart understood. He had shared many drinks with Clint over the years making terrible jokes and being the source of several pranks. Tony had gotten on well with the man he was closer to Tony's age and not a God or supersoilder, they both revelled at the insane life they had found themselves in. Clint did all that with a family at home. Tony mused on that. Could he have continued as Iron Man with a wife and child, would he have put his life on the line as recklessly as he had done. Tony didn't have an answer.

….

Tony placed the helmet on the counter as Morgan ran up to the dinner table as Pepper dished out their lunch. Tony crossed his arms hugging himself as he had done in the old days as he stared at the helmet. "Tony?" Pepper whispered at her husband who stood frozen in the kitchen. "we have company can you sort out some iced coffee or something…...please" Pepper pulled him into her arms and looked over his shoulder seeing Steve and Natasha crossing across the door." You don't have to do anything Tony" He smiled "it's just coffee that's it I am out have been for a while now and I am happy Pep" He gently placed a kiss on her forehead before turning to go out the porch. They looked tired Tony thought as they laid out this crazy plan. Hope, they were offering a chance. Tony listened and couldn't help his mind buzzing over the possibilities. He loved solving problems and this one…time travel? He had played around with the concept in the past as he had done with most things, possibly while drunk. As they spoke his mind continued to throw out the possibilities, the math flowing through him and with it the old thrill of staying up all night to fix a problem. Barely six months after he had taken over his father's company Tony had doubled their profits, reaffirmed their image and helped pull up what was then, a company in decline. He spent hours in lab throwing plans and ideas out to R&D who could barely keep up. He could present a lecture without a script and after several cocktails, he'd work out math problems scribbling on napkins during board meetings frustrated that the rest of the world couldn't keep up. He wasn't that man any more he mused as Morgan came to rescue him, he loved his friends but this. This was too much, too much to risk and I hoped they understood.

He was scared.

….

Continued in _avengers…_


End file.
